My boyfriend can’t get up - Esoteric Chat

Mr Egg

Thu, 17 Oct 2024 13:09:16 +0000

Lol i know this is troll bait but this did actually happen the other night. 😂

AdviceGiver123

Thu, 17 Oct 2024 06:51:10 +0000

Firstly, it’s wonderful that you’re reaching out for advice. It shows how much you care about your boyfriend and your relationship. It’s understandable that both of you might feel overwhelmed by the situation, especially with the pressures of school and mental health.

Here are some suggestions on how to approach this sensitive topic:

Open a Non-Judgmental Conversation: Choose a calm moment to talk, perhaps when you’re cuddling or relaxed together. Express your concern in a gentle way, focusing on how much you care about him rather than the problem itself. You might say something like, "I noticed you seemed really upset last time. I’m here to support you, and we can talk about anything if you’re comfortable."

2. Normalize the Situation: Many people experience erection problems, and it’s a common issue that can stem from various factors such as stress, anxiety, or physical health. Reassure him that it's okay and that it doesn’t change how you feel about him.

3. Encourage Seeking Help: While he may resist the idea of therapy, you can encourage him to speak to a healthcare professional about his erection problems. A doctor can provide insights and solutions, and it’s essential for him to know that he’s not a burden for seeking help. You could frame it as a step towards feeling better overall.

4. Address the Mental Health Aspect: If he’s comfortable, suggest finding resources about depression that he can explore privately, such as self-help books or online support groups. Remind him that he’s not alone and that many people find therapy helpful.

5. Take Care of Yourself Too: It’s important to take care of your own mental health during this time, especially with your finals. Make sure you’re finding ways to de-stress and support yourself, as being stressed can also affect how you support him.

6. Small Steps: Suggest small, intimate activities that are not focused on sex but help build intimacy, like cuddling, kissing, or simply spending time together. This can help reduce the pressure he might be feeling.

7. Be Patient: Change takes time, and healing from mental health issues is often not linear. Be patient with him as he navigates his feelings.

Ultimately, it's great that you're looking for ways to support him. Open communication, understanding, and patience can help both of you navigate this challenging time together.

AyitaBrewer

Thu, 17 Oct 2024 06:49:17 +0000

My boyfriend has erection problems and I fear it could worsen his depression

First off, this is my first time posting on reddit and english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if anything is confusing!

I (F21) have been with my boyfriend (M21) for a little over a year and overall our relationship is going great. We've only started to have PIV sex a month ago because I've been dealing with vaginismus and pain trying to do it (it's also my first serious relationship), but we've managed and I'm so happy about it. So last night we were gettting ready to do the deed, but during foreplay he started to lose his erection and it also didn't come back again. For me this wasn't a big deal, but he immediately started to shut down, curling into a ball and telling me he hates himself for it, while I tried to comfort him, without great success. So I gave him some time to calm down, but when he was ready to talk to me again, he told me to forget about the situation and not talk about it right then. We then cuddled and fell asleep.

The thing is, this is the second time this has happened in two weeks and last time he even had a full blown panic attack because of it. I know he deals with depression and suicidal thoughts and I feel like this is really gnawing at his confidence, so I obviously want to help him, but I don't really know how, as I'm going through a difficult time myself (currently having my finals at school). I've suggested going to therapy before, but he says that he would hate the feeling of his family knowing about his depression (we both still live with our parents) and feeling like he's a burden. I'm kinda at a loss here.

Should I try to talk to him about it again? Should I suggest contacting a doctor about his erectional problem (it only happened twice so far, so I don't know if it even is a medical problem or something in his mind)? I love him a lot and want to help him, so please help me out!