How to use a large dildo safely

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If you haven't used a large dildo before, you may have seen horse and walrus sex toys and wondered how on earth you're meant to use them. These dildos are bigger than average in length and girth, so they may be a little bit intimidating. But they're popular for a reason: they can be very pleasurable and satisfying as they create a feeling of "fullness", both vaginally and anally.
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These large dildos - any above nine inches - can be used in anal and vaginal play, sex expert Sammi Cole explains. But there are some health risks to consider.

There are genuine concerns among many people that using large dildos will stretch them permanently.

'There are genuine concerns among many people that using large dildos will stretch them permanently, leaving them "loose", Cole says. 'But in reality, your body's natural elasticity should prevent this from happening, and you will regain the tightness in your muscles within a day or two of use.'

Now that's cleared up, here's everything you need to know to use a large dildo safely:
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Make sure it’s clean

'Your super-big dildo is going to be exploring your deepest internal regions, and a thorough clean will ensure that your experience is safe, hygienic and healthy. Even if it's brand new, it’s still worth giving dildo a thorough wash in hot water or use a sex toy cleaner before you use it,' Cole explains.

And, if you're going to be sharing the sex toy with a partner, a thorough clean or using condoms will help reduce to risk of STIs.
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Use a good quality lubricant

Lubricant is really important for all sexual experiences - not only because it feels great to have everything slipping and sliding around effortlessly, but because it makes anal and vaginal penetration much safer by reducing the risk of injury (tearing) and soreness.

Lubricant makes anal and vaginal penetration much safer by reducing the risk of injury (tearing) and soreness.

With large dildos, it's safest to use a thick, long-lasting lubricant that won't disappear within the first few minutes, Cole explains.

Water-based lubricants are safe to use with all sex toys and condoms. While many are quite thin, Sliquid's Sea water-based lube is organic, vegan and paraben-free so perfect for anyone with sensitive skin.
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If you're planning to use the dildo anally, a thicker, long-lasting lubricant is essential. However, if the sex toy you're using is silicone-based, be sure not to sure silicone lube with it as this will damage the toy.

Remember, the anus doesn't naturally self-lubricate like the vagina, so extra lube is vital.

You can, however, use a condom over the toy and then apply the silicone lube. ID Millenium Silicone Lubricant is thick and feels amazing against the skin - it's also waterproof so you can use it in the bath or shower.

There are also anal-specific lubricant products that work really well with large dildos. Remember, the anus doesn't naturally self-lubricate like the vagina, so extra lube is vital.
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Be gentle

'If you're new to the world of big toys, it’s best to start with something smaller initially and then work your way up,' Cole explains. 'You may find large dildos can be difficult to insert at first, so I recommend taking it slowly and getting into positions that allow you to spread out comfortably.'

Never rush into using a large without foreplay or a warm-up, as you could injure yourself. Cole says once you're ready, a good position is lying on your back with a pillow underneath you, with your legs raised and spread.

An alternative is to squat down over the dildo and lower yourself onto it. This gives you more control of the depth of insertion, so you can go at your own pace.
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Explore

Once you've inserted the widest part of the dildo, your body should become more relaxed. 'This allows you to explore the sensations in your own time,' Cole says.

The key rule is: if you start to feel any pain or discomfort, stop.

'For some people, it works if they twist the dildo inside them to stimulate all the internal erogenous zones. Others prefer to thrust in and out [with the toy].'

So once you're ready to explore, go ahead. Experiment with different motions and speeds, just always start off slow and steady and build your way up.
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Listen to your body

Cole explains, 'If you pay close attention to what your body is telling you, then you should be able to enjoy every inch of your huge dildo with ease and pleasure. The key rule is: if you start to feel any pain or discomfort, stop.'
Choosing your first large dildo

If you're ready to buy your first large dildo but aren't sure which would be best for you, always start off smaller than you think. 'It’s worth remembering when you are choosing your first large dildo (for you or your partner) that the body has its limits,' Cole says. 'Some people may not be able to manage a large dildo, especially vaginally because there's only so far it can go.'
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Fisting dildos

Fisting dildos are also an option for the more experienced. Based on the shape of a human fist, many are modelled on real hands and they come in many designs and styles (clenched fists, angled fingers, etc).

'They provide a "full-up" sensation that stimulates your internal walls,' Cole says. 'They also provide a feeling of being stretched, which is a fantasy for many people. All of the above advice also applies to fisting with a real human fist too, but remember to remove any jewellery that might hurt your partner before starting out. Keep your nails short and smooth, and go slow!'

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Sexual health

If you're going to be sharing sex toys with a new partner, it's important to use a condom and get tested for STIs. For sexual health resources, try one of the following:

Find a sexual health clinic near you.
Try Brook's Find a Service tool.
Call the national sexual health line on 0300 123 7123.
Call Worth Talking About on 0300 123 2930 (for under-18s).

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Paisley Gilmour Former Sex & Relationships Editor Paisley is the former Sex and Relationships editor at Cosmopolitan UK.


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