Praise Clyde! *braaaaaaap*

The Shackles

"Clyde was born to a merchant family among the people of the village of Wogdong.
He was expected to follow the path set by his strict father in becoming a successful
merchant just as he was. Clyde had a strict Childhood under his father from a very
young age."

1:1 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

"After some years it became apparent to Clydes father that Clyde sought a different
path as to what his father had in mind for him so Clyde's father became even stricter
on the boy. Clyde's father suddenly died when Clyde was at the age of thirteen and Clyde's
older siblings were left in charge of the household and estate."

1:2 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

"At age fourteen Clyde became disillusioned with the ways thought by his father to him and
sought to follow the path in his heart. He went off to seek in the great towns and
cities to find those who may be likeminded or may even have what Clyde seeks."

1:3 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

"Clyde spent seven years travelling between the great towns and cities only to find many
delights and curiosities but never did he find what his heart truely sought. Clyde took
to the wilderness believing here to be the only place left to look."

1:4 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

"Clyde spent twelve years in the wilderness living off the honey nectar of the cactus
bees and the milk of the wild goats. He slept in various caves as he travelled as
a nomad in solitude seeking to find the truth. It was on the eleventh year that Clyde
first heard the mother earth speak to him "You Clyde are good of heart and you have
proven this by your time spent in search of the truth, here is the truth: I am the
mother earth and say to you that mankind will be forever lost until he returns to
the primal oneness." Clyde tried to ask to hear more but it was clear that this
was to be all he would hear for now."

1:5 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

"On the next month the mother earth again spoke "Continue your ways in the wilderness
so that you be wiser than you are now in knowing the truth and the way of the oneness,
I will guide you in your heart.""

1:6 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

"On the twelfth year Clyde felt the mother earth in his heart speaking that it is time
to return to his fellow men and teach this enlightenment to all. Clyde began the walk
to the greatest city of the land, Magoog. As Clyde left the wilderness on his approach
to the great city the mother earth spoke to him "Clyde, you are wise and ready to
teach the forgotten rightful ways to mankind. You will however by bearing this great
joy must also bear a great sorrow as will all who will carry this truth until the
day when the oneness comes about for until then there will always be persecutors."

1:7 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

"Clyde spent two months in the city of magoog speaking to the people there but
found that they were not welcoming to his message. He soon found himself attacked
and under the threat of violence on many occasions. Clyde wept and said "They
are hard like ice, I must find the melted." Clyde left the city to wander and
find an open people

2:1 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

"After nine months of travelling between cities Clyde only found a small number
open to his messages while most sought to persecute him. This was until he
had heard of the Braapers who live in their colonies outcast from society for
their ways. Clyde heard about the ways of these people and lit up with hope as
he knew they were good of heart."

2:2 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

"Clyde came to the greatest colony of Braapers in the land and spent three months
among the people there. The Braapers enthusiastically welcomed what Clyde had
to say to them. On the end of the third month Clyde spoke "I must leave now for
I have to spread the truth to all of mankind, keep fast to the ways of the
mother earth and tell the straights of the truth so that one day they may
no longer be hard hearted." After this the crowd of Braapers cried out to Clyde
"You are our saviour" to which Clyde said "Do not call me such, I am just a man
like all of you but I have been shown then way for which my duty is to show to
all." "Praise Clyde" The crowd cheered as he departed on his journey to bring
the truth to the world."

2:3 - The Shackles - The Book Of Clyde

The Wisdoms

"Clyde came across a man working hard to fell a large tree. Clyde noticed the pain
in the mans face as he seemed desperate to have this tree removed. Clyde approached
the man and said "You place yourself as the enemy of this tree and this is causing
you pain, understand the tree as part of yourself and it will glady move for you.""

1:1 - The Wisdoms - The Book of Clyde

"The bridge on the way to the great city had fallen into the river below where
Clyde met a large crowd upset at not being able to pass by the river. Some from
the crowd told him "we hope you aren't on urgent business like us, the bridge has
gone and will take much time to be brought back". The crowd looked at Clyde who
paused for a moment before uttering "You let your urgent business pain you. What
sort of business is there anywhere in the world which should warrant you to be
pained for it. Come let us sit waiting and be joyful as our good hope alone will
bring back the bridge". One from the crowd spoke "What does he mean our good hope?"
another spoke "He jokes with us it seems" to which Clyde replied "It is no humour
but it is joy of a different sort, that is that you are one with all things and
by hopeful joy and understanding there is no pain in anything."

1:2 - The Wisdoms - The Book of Clyde

"It was a cold and miserable night in the inn with many inside. Many travelling
men had found themselves in desperate need of shelter from the severe cold.
Clyde was a among many in the crowded inn and found much upset among them.
A travelling official said "Life is pain as such and let no one tell me otherwise"
Clyde came towards the man and said "What pain do you speak of." The man said
"All sorts" to which Clyde said "It is a self harm from a lack of self understanding
that most sadly suffer from but the way out is to relearn the natural oneness you
have with the mother earth and all things for you pain is from you trying to
separate yourself from these things which are really parts of yourself."

2:1 - The Wisdoms - The Book of Clyde

"We are all one in being the homobro of Clydes superior wisdom.
Of the mother earth and the trees of the wilderness Clyde learned
the undoing of the unkind for the sake of the growing pains of the
sky within all of our minds. Clyde walked and talked and died. From
him others walked and talked and died. Now I walk and talk."

3:1 - The Wisdoms - The Book of Clyde

"An old man asked Clyde "have I not passed the time to care for such things as yours".
Clyde turned and spoke softly to the man "all things within all, oneness of all, let
that be the gentle cushion for your good mind".
4:1 - The Wisdoms - The Book of Clyde

"Within the Braaper colony Clyde met an enthusiasm from the people unlike that every before then. The crowd greeted
Clyde further than how other welcomed him as they had yearned for the ways he thought by their hearts before they had
known of Clyde and for this they were persecuted and exiled. The Braapers welcomed Clyde with the faith that he will
liberate them and all of mankind by showing the rightful way of thing."

4:2 - The Wisdoms - The Book of Clyde

"In the great city of the Straights Clyde turned and faced the crowd; among whom there was those who sought to persecute
the Clyde. He was unwelcome in the previous town of Wogadily but the word of his
courage and boldness againts the straights there travelled faster than he did.
The crowd became silent as Clyde uttered 'The sun is the giver of light and this
light you receive upon the skin; it is a simple gift that proves the earth loves and
blesses you in times of your goodness. Go and live upon my wisdoms and the earth shall
receive you as a long missed and loved Child in a parents household. Live the ways of
the homobro and the earth shall pour out it's gifts to you'. The crowd cheered with
some saying 'it is true that he bears great wisdoms'."

4:3 - The Wisdoms - The Book of Clyde

Clyde's Trials

"Clyde was approached by some loyal followers who said "You are in a greater danger than ever before"
Clyde replied "What ever it is I will protest it not as it brings the world closer to the mother earth."
The followers then spoke "The king of the straight has sent out his men and they are coming to take you
prisoner". Clyde replied again "if it must be then so be it.""

1:1 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"After arriving at the village of woogog Clyde and his party met with some other followers of Clyde.
Jefeefus being Clydes closest follower spoke "We cannot speak to the crowd in the port city as we
had planned for the king of the straights had sent his men to capture Clyde. We fear for his life
so Clyde has decided that we must take this opportunity to hear some last wisdoms for us
to later share with the world and also vital secret wisdoms for us to reveal in the great era to
come in the future. We must be brief with these last lessons of Clyde before we promptly go separate
ways to ensure we spread the wisdoms as far as we can." Clydes followers weeped at this but with
good duty did as Clyde wanted."

1:2 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"Jefeefus was the last to depart from the house leaving Clyde alone in waiting for the men of the
king. Three hours later they had arrived, the broke down the door of the house and beat Clyde before
carrying him in chains to the great court of the king.

1:3 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"Clyde was put in a cell for a week before the trial. The guardmen of the prison would strike Clyde
with their fists every one of these days and ridicule him with insults. The guardsmen also kept food
and water from him while also interrupting his sleep to torment him leaving him weak and in pain for
these necessities."

2:1 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"Clyde was brought to the washroom and groomed for the court. His natural locks of hair grown to honour
the mother earth were shamefully cut and clothes of the Straights were forced on him."

2:2 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"The trial began with Clyde being brought into the court by the guardsmen. The judge uttered that "He
who goes by the name of Clyde Homobro, charges are laid against you for being unstraight, perverse and
a menace to society. I see it fit that the crowd gathered may decide if you are guilty". The crowd
uttered "LET THE KING DECIDE. LET THE KING DECIDE." repeatedly. After much loudness and disorder in the
crowd the king stood up and paused before uttering "This man is not a man, he is a beast and we can all
sense this clearly. He is an abomination sent to spread his terrible ways so for this we will send him
away. HE IS GUILTY!". The crowd of straights celebrated with great enthusiasm. After this the king spoke
"I can no longer bear the presence of him" before leaving the court prompty. The judge uttered "Clyde
Homobro, you are sentenced to exile to the island of gupta wahju". The crowd again cheered.

2:3 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"Clyde was sent to gupta wahju and placed to spend his time here until his death. It had the food and
water to keep him alive but he was cut off from all humanity and given no means to write or communicate
any more wisdoms to the world when his escorts leave him"

2:4 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"As Clyde knew this would be his last chance he spoke to the men of the king who brought him hear and
said "I wish to speak a few last things to be heard before I am left alone." The men of the king
listened to what would be the last words of Clyde we know of."

2:5 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"Looking at the waters and the boat Clyde says "we are all one and such like the drops in the waters
as they are part of us as we are part of them, do not forget this wisdom"."

2:6 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"Clyde and the men of the king spent a day together as the sea was far to rough to return in.
Clyde said that "I can feel this is the blessing of the mother earth that she wishes me to
speak what must be said. The world now is full of those who are ignorant of the natural ways
as I had spoke about many time, for many years the Straights will be the great majority while
we homobros will be the persecuted underground truth but there will come a great day when all
will not only know but also understand the mother earth with our oneness and then there will
be no more such persecutions and it will be a great time for then on for all mankind. At the
right time leading up to this the elders of my followers will reveal the esoteric secrets that
will be necessary to save all of humanity and bring about the great oneness.""

2:7 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"Later Clyde spoke saying there will be great pains and torment for us homobros but what really
pains us is the Straights living in ignorance of the truth of the mother earth"".
2:8 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

"Clyde became upset with the state of the world and the ignorance the straights existed in.
He began to weep and called out 'how can the world be so wrong' to which his tears fell from his
face and landed on the earth below. Suddenly when he had formed a small pool of tears the ground
shook and out gushed water for the mother earth came to answer Clydes weeping and instill him
with hope. This is the site of gupta wahju well, it will forever provide holy water and be among
the most sacred of places. Shortly after this the men of the king departed carrying these last word
of Clyde with them"

2:9 - Clydes Trials - The book of Clyde

Monastic Reflections

"From the waters of all rivers comes the flow of blood of all things as these are your veins just as
much as they are the veins within your body. Such is the oneness as Clyde brought for us all to know"

1:1 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

"No matter what pains are brought upon us by the persecutions of the straights we can bear them
for we know this is the healing of our oneness and we are joyful in our knowledge of Clydes
wisdoms.

1:2 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

"As Clyde showed us we must never forget to listen to the mother earth as only she will really
fulfil the promise of Clydes prophecy of the great return to our total unity as one in harmony."

1:3 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

"The earth speaks for us with it's voice that can be heard by some. It is the voice of the mother earth.
The mother earth was the guiding force behind Clyde and his wisdoms for he was a special man with a close
connection to the mother earth".

1:4 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

"Clyde knew well of the Braapers and knew how they were good of heart. For despite their ignorance of knowledge they
sought after the good ways of the earth by the instinct of their hearts. Upon the spreading of the wisdoms of Clyde
the Braaper were among those most naturally drawn to this new movement viewing it as the rational expression of what
their hearts had yearned for."

2:1 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

"Clyde knew of the earth well and understood how she felt. The mother earth was in pain at the pitiful state of humanity
and so the earth needed Clyde just as Clyde needed the earth. Let this be the ultimate lesson in oneness."

2:2 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

"We must not fear the persecutors as the example of Clyde has shown us;
nor should we fear for the extinction and life of our belief in Clyde for
as he has spoken many times about the nature of things so we know to be faithful.
Upon the reaches of the high sky and the lowest valley, all will come to know
of his wisdoms. There will be a few of us for a great time but in the end there
will be a many."

2:3 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

"With every stone cast by the persecutors we cast back simply a smile as we know
that this healing pain of ours has brought them one step closer to the mother earth.

3:1 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

"What wicked sorrows the straights inflict upon us in our lives as homobros.
We carry the weight of this persecution without escape of it but we do so
joyfully as we are in the good knowledge of Clyde"

4:1 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

"He who follows the good ways of the mother earth are bound to face suffering
for their faith until the day when all shall accept Clydes wisdoms.
Though we may suffer the burdens of faith; we shall persist in the knowledge that
it is better to be homobro than not and that one day there will be no more such
persecutions."

4:2 - Monastic Reflections - The Book Of Clyde

Clyde is no subject of worship. It is Kek, the great creator of the universe and trusted loaf ward for all adamant people, who is the greatest and most deserving of praise. You heathens praise only a man while I know the nature of the greatest god Kek.

does clyde have a big cock

*pfffff*