God has instructed me to shove a firecracker down into my penis hole and light it off. This will provide me with the truth about all things in life, including the reason why I was born without any wisdom teeth. Perhaps maybe God can also explain why I only have one nipple as well. Anyways, I am here now with the torch and a firecracker shoved inside of my dick. It's time for the moment of reckoning.

Update: I have set off the firecraker in my dick. As the fuse began winding down into the firecracker, it felt almost as if the future was being conveyed to me before my eyes. Indeed, I knew what would happen next. Bright sparks accompanied by a loud popping sound as I felt my dick rip into halves. Once the noise stopped, I could faintly hear my foreskin sizzling as blood was pouring out of my dick head and all onto the floor. It was extremely painful. I am sitting on the toilet now with toilet paper wrapped around my dick so as to help with the bleeding.

I feel betrayed by God, or perhaps it was a demon tricking me into its fulfillment. Regardless of whether or not I have been deceived, my dick now rests here, its outer layer peeled back like a banana. I am now using Scotch tape so as to keep it held together in this time of doubt and uncertainty. Please have mercy on me.

Mr Egg - go to this post

Junko Furuta

Very good point.